Moving at lightning speed through life

I just attended another Navy Hospital Corps ball; I have lost count of how many of these events that I’ve attended over the years.  The guest speaker was a retired Marine Sergeant Major and a veteran of World War II, the Korean War and Vietnam…he brought tears and laughter through telling the story about his military and life experiences. Many of the young Sailors and Marines in the room knew what this man was talking about because they know of the comradery they feel with their fellow brothers and sisters in uniform, and many of them have also witnessed first-hand the devastation that war can bring.

These annual events are held to celebrate the milestones of the organization that the attendees belong to and the pride they have of serving their country in uniform. The many young people at this celebration were still in or barely out of the teen years, but with a chest full of medals.

I never had to go onto a battlefield, but I saw many young people who were severely wounded either in body or mind… years ago I had a co-worker who served in Vietnam with the Army. He decided to reenlist in the Navy. This Sailor suffered from severe and untreated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Which is better understood, and better treated today. Back during Vietnam those returning home from war with this disorder were many times treated like outcasts or criminals because of their “bad” behaviors. My co-worker was very polite and respectful to everyone; he never got into trouble or tried to hurt anyone. The reaction this Sailor had when he heard a loud noise was extreme fright… I don’t know what ever came of this Sailor, but I hope that he received help for his crippling wounds of the mind.

I decided to join the Navy because I wanted to be the master of my own destiny… I didn’t want to be drafted and I didn’t want to go to Vietnam. I figured that by joining the Navy I would be safely assigned to a ship that remained far away from the shores of Vietnam. I thought that being in the United States Navy would be a really cool thing to belong to, and it was, and as it turned out the best decision I ever made.

As I already mentioned, I obligated to join the Navy on July 8, 1968 and met my future wife, Diane, on the same day. This happened because I went to visit my cousin, Dale and his new wife, Cathy, to tell them about what I had just done.  Dale was not only one of my cousins, but my best friend.

It was there at my cousin’s apartment when I met Diane, who just happened to be at Dale’s house visiting her sister… my cousin’s wife.

At this time I was still working on my shyness around girls.  I thought I could ask my cousin or his wife to “set me up.”  Of course they were really enjoying themselves at my expense… finally I had to ask Diane directly if she would go to a movie with me because her sister told her I wanted to say something to her… I was trapped.  She came outside, where I was helping my cousin with the barbecue, and asked me directly “Do you have to say something to me?”  I almost melted.  I mumbled out “Do you want to go to a movie with me or something?” She replied “I don’t know.”  I stupidly came back with “You don’t like me?”  She smiled and agreed to go to the movie with me… the rest is history… but to this day she enjoys embarrassing me all over again and again by relating this story to whoever will listen… I just tell her that my line worked!

We started dating regularly and six months later I entered boot camp in San Diego on January 14, 1969.  As Diane was a ward of the Los Angeles County Foster Child Program, my parents were able to qualify as foster parents to Diane.  She moved in with my parents while I was off serving in the Navy.  This just gave her more ammunition to embarrass me all over again by telling everyone, that she married her (foster) brother! 

We were married on December 13, 1969, a day after Diane turned 18.       

Diane and her six siblings were all placed in foster care after her mother had died of leukemia when she was about 8 years-old and her father was unable to take care of all the children because of his poor health.  Diane tried to stay in contact with her family, but as a child it was very difficult… this resulted in some of her siblings not being very close with one another.          

As a ward of the state of California at the time, when a foster child turned 18, the state would turn them out into the street for them to make their own way.  But Diane had plans… she managed to earn enough money to pay for a beautiful dress, rent a hall in Norwalk, California and pay for our wedding reception afterwards.  We were so young; we spent our first night together as husband and wife at a hotel across the street from Disneyland and spent the next day at the park.

After Diane and I were married, Dale was then my cousin, best friend and brother-in-law.  Unfortunately, when our father-in-law died a couple of years later there were some harsh words between myself and Dale.  Cathy and Dale eventually divorced and we were never close again. 

When you’re not paying attention things will change or disappear altogether and you won’t notice them missing or the change until it’s too late.  The same is true with people… life is short, sometimes shorter than expected. 

Fast forward about thirty-five years to the future, Dale’s father, my uncle Eugene died.  I went to the funeral where Dale offered his hand, I hugged him instead.  We reminisced about the old days in Rowland Heights and the fun we used to have.  We talked about our children and grandchildren… we were having a good visit there at Uncle Eugene’s wake, then Dale closed his eyes and died.  I am saddened that my cousin, best friend and former brother-in-law had died at his father’s wake, saddened by the years we lost, but at the same time was grateful for the short visit we were able to enjoy before he passed.  Dale will be missed and I’m sure he is in Heaven enjoying new adventures.  I found out that same day that another opportunity was lost when I learned that a good childhood friend, Ed “Eddy” Murphy had just died. 

Three years earlier Eddy, as I knew him, sent out a message to our high school alumni, inviting everyone to a Mega Reunion.  I considered sending him an email saying hi… but I was busy, and I was sure he was busy, so I didn’t do it… also I had prior commitments with a earlier Hospital Corps Birthday Ball being held at the same time as the High School reunion.  I now wish that I could have at least said “Hi” to Eddy.

Enjoy your family today… reconnect with old friends… life really is too short.