Pay attention to the little things because they can be huge

By Dan Barber

I thought that I had a goal once… a goal that would have destroyed me and the ones that I love if I had achieved it. Fortunately I discovered the path towards that goal was fun, but the goal itself was not really my life’s purpose.  For a long time I thought that I needed to have someone write a script for me to have a personality or purpose. 

I discovered that I have a whole team of writers giving me purpose. My entire family is the team who gave me my personality and purpose. I am very grateful for that discovery. My destiny was and is my family, they will give me immortality if I can leave them with good memories and maybe some of life's lessons that I have picked up in the life I live. 

I like being referred to as Husband, Dad, Grandpa, Brother, Uncle, Cousin, Nephew and Friend. 

I get a great deal of enjoyment, as most old men do, when they can brag about the accomplishments of their family members. 

One of those accomplished nephews passed away not long ago, and every time I think about him, I get emotional, but I have to write this. Kevin was not only a valued family member but he was also an exceptional human being. He was a quiet and unassuming young man who counted hundreds as friends. 

He had Hispanic friends, Asian friends, Black friends and White friends... I know this, because at his grave-side service at the Rowland Heights cemetery where he was laid to rest there were teenagers for as far as I could see of all races represented gathered there to honor him. It could have been the funeral of a celebrity, and in a way it was... the hundreds of kids there adored Kevin and what he represented to them. I was and still am extremely sad at his loss, but at the same time I remain extremely proud of my Nephew for the love he gave to others.

He was an exceptional young man... a good student and athlete who loved the barbequed ribs and stuffed mushrooms that I prepared a couple of times at family get-togethers... I always recall the joy I had of watching him devour those ribs and mushrooms whenever I prepare them now.

I just learned something else about Kevin from his father recently. My brother told me that Kevin told him that even though he was of mixed race of Caucasian and Mexican he considered himself to be an American with Mexican heritage... not Mexican-American. Kevin was proud of his mixed heritage and I remain proud of him. I believe the message he wished to spread was to be proud of who you are, not what others think you should be. That was a message I learned from an 18-year old kid... so I guess I am still able to learn.

As I stated in an earlier blog, if our heavenly reward is to relive our life experiences over and over again as if it was the first time, then Kevin is having a great time, because he has a lot of wonderful experiences to relive. Also, when I'm gone from this life, I will be repeatedly watching him eat ribs and mushrooms that I prepared for our family get-together.

Young man, I miss you dearly.