By Dan Barber
I once opined about Heaven being partitioned based on the
individual faith of people. I then started to think, “How can I be so
presumptuous to know what God demands of us or what is required of people to
gain entry into Heaven?”
I can pull a book out of my collection and read about what
some ancient reclusive philosopher/monk thought or hallucinated about on the subject…
but that would just be another opinion from a mortal. I could read the Bible,
but I always had trouble interpreting what the prophets were really trying to
teach.
When I was a child I attended Church and Sunday school every
week. I don’t remember when I first started attending, but I do have an early
childhood memory of getting ready and heading to Church with my grandparents. I
also remember getting a lapel pin for perfect attendance, but I don’t remember
what period of time was required for perfect attendance. I joyously participated
in Christmas and Easter programs at my Church. However, I stopped attending Sunday services on a regular basis when I was about 10-years old when one of our Church
ladies threatened a friend of mine and I that we would burn in hell for
drinking a soda one Sunday after Services and Sunday School. I was truly frightened away from
my faith by that woman.
Since that time I have thought a lot about religion. I do
love the ritual of the Catholic Mass and envy those who enjoy the fellowship of
Church, but I can’t dedicate myself to “the word of man or woman.” I believe
Christ is the Son of God, but I have a hard time believing that he was a
long-haired bearded white man as depicted in history. However, I consider
myself Christian and I accept Christ as the Son of God.
Just about a year before I retired from active duty with the
Navy, I got into a little bit of trouble by writing an article about a
hamburger, on my own time, for a magazine.
I was charged with “conflict of interest” as a Navy Journalist and was sent
to Captain’s Mast. I plead guilty to writing the article… I could not deny it
because my name was on the byline. I was given “extra duty” for a period of 6
weeks for my punishment. I could have requested a Courts Martial but that would
have just extended my enlistment past my planned retirement date. My commanding
officer knew that I was being somewhat “railroaded” by a few individuals in my department, so with his knowledge about my hobby in theater arts he
ordered that my “extra duty” to be to direct a live re-creation of the Last Supper
by Leonardo da Vinci for the base’s Catholic Chapel for the upcoming Easter
services.
He ordered that I could pick the cast and he would assure they attend
all rehearsals and performances. Each cast member was selected without the need of audition. I
recruited my civilian community theater friends to create the set, costumes and
props for the production. But because Leonardo painted Jesus as a white
long-haired bearded man, I recruited a local hippy with the prerequisite hair
and beard, because no one would have believed a middle-aged Navy officer
wearing a wig and glued on beard as Jesus. The Easter production brought tears
to the Navy Catholic Chaplain, and the congregations in the Chapel were totally
silent for some time when the spot light on Jesus faded away, then the audience
erupted in a standing ovation. That was my last Easter program… 26 years ago.
A short time later, I was no longer working on the command's newspaper staff I was assigned to because I thought my violation of
the Uniformed Code of Military Justice voided the trust my command had in me as
a Navy Journalist. But, the commanding officer surprised me by telling me in
confidence that he would bless a request if I wished to moonlight at the local
daily newspaper because there could no longer be a conflict of interest for me.
I put in my official request, the commanding officer
approved it, and the local newspaper editor hired me as a part-time staffer,
which turned into a full time job the day after I retired from active duty.
That experience taught me to never doubt my own values, beliefs or behaviors
and to never lose faith in good people doing the right thing as God directs.
A few years back I wrote about an experience I had with my
father shortly after his death. I was feeling very guilty about my part in
requesting that life support be withheld from my Dad because we thought that
was what he would have wanted, until one night I had a dream when I asked my
father if we could bring him back to life would he like that. He replied to me,
“absolutely not, because he was having a wonderful time being able to
re-experience all of the joys in his life over and over again as if for the
first time.” I knew then that everything was and will be fine.
The human spirit is a mysterious and mystical thing that has
infinite potential limited only by fear of the unknown. In last week’s blog I
wrote about being able to feel the presence of loved ones who have passed on.
They are always sending greetings, but you have to pay attention so you don’t
miss those messages.
I often wonder what is Heaven… is it a place, a state of
mind or a merging with God’s knowledge in all things past, present and future…
a Gathering Of Data…notice the acronym GOD.
If we accept that the our loved ones never leave us just
because they no longer occupy a body, then perhaps we are in fact living in
Heaven with those loved ones surrounding us?
I can’t tell anyone what to believe or how to live…I only know
what I believe and expect from own my behaviors. I hope to be kind; I strive to
be polite and I try to always set a good example; I like providing comfort and
service to others; I try not to be judgmental; I like to think that I love
unconditionally and accept the love I receive with gratitude; and try not to
take anyone or anything for granted.
Whenever I stray from any of my expected behaviors I immediately
feel guilty and always ask for God’s forgiveness, which I think is the same
thing as asking forgiveness from my self and I ask for the forgiveness from
whoever my poor behavior might have hurt. I believe above everything else that
being true to self is the same thing as being true to God.
I find it very difficult in believing the human
interpretation of how God will reward someone for taking some action in His/Her/Our
name, but then feel guilty about how I can be so presumptuous or judgmental
about what others might believe.
I fail to understand how some, what I consider to be
sub-human beings can be so evil as they feel a need to rape and butcher men,
women and children in the name of their god (notice the lower case g) and then
believe that horrific behavior will enable them to be given special treatment
in their afterlife, unless that expected treatment is to burn in hell for
eternity as what I believe to be waiting for them.
Some people can be treated badly in their community just because they are different. Since the beginning of human history we have been trying to
fit into the societal norm with the expectations that everyone in that society
will accept us as we present ourselves, even if representation is considered
abnormal to the majority in that society. As long as some actions don’t physically harm anyone, why can’t we
just accept our differences because I feel without color, without texture and without any
differences we might have a very boring existence.
Everyday I thank God for the wonderful creation of life and
strive to live up to the abilities that God has given me.
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