What gives us peace of mind?

By Dan Barber

I just re-discovered the joy of simply reading a book. It has been a long time since I actually read a book for fun. As part of my job for many years I read millions of words, but in the form of news stories, commentaries or features in newspapers, magazines and online blogs.

My mornings usually started off with scanning the Washington Post then the Washington Examiner, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Navy/Marine/Federal Times, San Bernardino Sun, Desert Sun and on publishing days the Hi-Desert Star and the Desert Trail. Then for good or bad measure I would scan the online versions of CNN and Fox News. What I was always searching for were stories pertaining to politics, the military or medicine that I thought my co-workers and leaders in the Navy might find an interest in. It also sometimes gave me an idea of what I could develop into a story for my own newspaper, The Examiner, a health education and health promotion paper that I published for the staff and patients of the Navy hospital where I worked. This research each day culminated in clips in the form of what I called the Public Affairs Reader File.

Since I retired from the government, for the last time this year, I have cut back on my “news” reading to limit myself to just the Los Angeles Times and the online versions of CNN and Fox News along with my local media sources… just to keep up with current affairs. This casual reading sometimes allows me to critic something in the comment section of the newspaper that, in my opinion, a clueless journalist wrote. When I was a government employee I had to keep my opinions to myself… it was the law! During my working life it was also prudent to keep my opinions “close hold” government public affairs speak for “keep it to yourself.” Now that I’m no longer subject to the censure of an employer it is very refreshing to be able to exercise my freedom of speech and opinion that has been bottled up for so long. For many years people would ask me what my political leanings were. I would explain they depended on the issue and leave it there… I cannot confirm nor deny the presence of nuclear weapons was a standard military response years ago when a reporter would ask, “Does your command have nuclear weapons?”  My political leaning still hinges on the issues but I can assure everyone that I have no patience for extreme right-wing or left-wing bigots who try to hurt someone with words or actions because they won’t blindly sign on to the cause those morons are pushing. Sometimes people just don’t know any better because they are just trying to be chic for calling CNN “Communist News Network” or Fox News “Faux News.” I will just smile at these people while thinking to myself, “what an ignorant ass.” I could attempt to correct the individual and try to explain why they were wrong, but it would just take up to much of my time.

Right after I retired from active duty with the Navy in 1989 I was hired by a very liberal weekly newspaper in Los Angeles as the production manager. The publisher thought that, as a former military man, I could bring some discipline to the production staff. Many of the staffers only took the job at the paper until they could get their “big break” in Hollywood. The art director did not believe in wearing shoes anywhere, unless he was being interviewed on TV about the legalization of marijuana. Our young film critic on the editorial staff was a recent graduate of the USC Film School who was waiting for someone to offer him a film to direct. Many, if not all of the graphic artists were “really” actors, actresses, models or musicians. When I showed up they all viewed me as a cockroach that just walked through the door from the dirty alley behind the newspaper offices. I explained to them that I served in the U.S. Navy so they could have the opportunity to do whatever they wished to do. But with the publisher paying them to do what the publisher paid them to do, they would have to follow my direction at this job. After having to fire a couple of them and the art director quitting and moving off to Amsterdam so he could partake in marijuana legally everyone got down to the business of putting out a weekly liberal newspaper, that for the most part espoused big business in LA. 

I can recall when I first read an entire book from cover to cover just because I wanted to. I was a freshman in high school and one day I walked into the library because I didn’t have anything better to do. The book that I picked off the shelf with no notice of the title just happened to be about auto racing and the technical aspect of building race cars. I was fascinated with the book. However, that reading experience didn’t make me want to become a race car driver or builder of race cars because I found many other interesting things in my universe at the time.

I also did not wish to dedicate my life to the pursuit of any particular occupation. I knew that I did not want to waste my parent’s money on college, because I was not mature enough or smart enough or dedicated enough to succeed. I discovered theater arts in high school and enjoyed escaping from my own introverted personality while performing on stage, but even that grew tiring after many years of community theater auditions, rehearsals and performance schedules.

Maybe peace of mind comes from the act of trying to keep from getting bored in the retirement years.