By Dan Barber
I have heard people say, “I’m a slave to my work.” “Why?” I
might ask… is it because you hate your job? Is it because you don’t make enough
money doing it, or is it because you earn too much? Or is it something else.
Perhaps in your youth you or your parents paid a huge ransom
to a college for an education that was required for the job you now have. Are
you a slave to your work because you have to pay back student loans? Or do you
continue to work at your job out of guilt for the amount of money your parents
paid for your education?
I believe that we have to be really careful in our life’s
choices to prevent loosing our freedom of choice and even free will.
Right out of high school I got a job that offered a free
education, free medical for me and my family. It offered a generous pension
payable immediately after just 20 years of service, adventurous world travel
and the job even offered the opportunity for my family and I to live in an
exclusive gated community… it was called the United States Navy. The trade off
was that I took an oath to defend the Constitution of the United States
against all enemies, both foreign and domestic. I also had to pledge to follow
the orders of those appointed over me, which when I took my first oath, meant
just about everyone in the military. By taking this oath I was put under the
legal jurisdiction of the Uniformed Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) which meant
that I gave up my freedom of speech to a certain extent. I was not allowed the
freedom of assembly with unsavory groups which included any political party
while in uniform. I guess that also made me a slave to my job, because if I
didn’t show up at work everyday, I could have received severe punishment.
My service had a cost that I didn’t fore-see, homesickness
and guilt. This job did in fact allow me adventurous world travel to Hawaii and Alaska and
many other locations in the continental United
States , Europe, the Mediterranean, and the Caribbean . But because of that I was away from my family
and friends “back home” most of the 20 years causing my homesickness. However, I
was very fortunate to have my wife and children with me most of that time and I
was lucky because I was never sent to a battlefield, and after 20 years I
received my retirement check every month as promised, and low cost “space-available” medical care for my
wife and I.
Yes, I spent 20-years being homesick for my family and
friends back home, so after I completed my 20-years of service I figured that I
could move back home to cure my homesickness. I was wrong, home is not a place
it is a state of mind. The trade-off of losing frequent contact with childhood
friends and family can cause an unseen distance that can sometimes be insurmountable…
and cause personal guilt. My children were estranged from grandparents, some uncles,
aunts and cousins. My childhood friends had moved on with families and careers
and interests different then my own. Some even forgot that I even existed at
all. I become envious of others who have had life-long friendships who enjoy
sharing memories of years past. I then feel guilty about feeling that envy,
because it was my choice of being gone from home. It was my fault for not
trying harder to stay in touch with friends and family.
Even with all the negatives about military service the experience
taught me self-discipline and gave me more freedom to enjoy my life and enjoy
living. The camaraderie I feel with my shipmates or just about anyone who wore or
wears a military uniform is very comforting.
I guess my youthful exuberance for adventure and the choices
I made own me.
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