Saturday, October 26, 2013

Who or What owns you?

By Dan Barber

I have heard people say, “I’m a slave to my work.” “Why?” I might ask… is it because you hate your job? Is it because you don’t make enough money doing it, or is it because you earn too much? Or is it something else.

Perhaps in your youth you or your parents paid a huge ransom to a college for an education that was required for the job you now have. Are you a slave to your work because you have to pay back student loans? Or do you continue to work at your job out of guilt for the amount of money your parents paid for your education?

I believe that we have to be really careful in our life’s choices to prevent loosing our freedom of choice and even free will.

Right out of high school I got a job that offered a free education, free medical for me and my family. It offered a generous pension payable immediately after just 20 years of service, adventurous world travel and the job even offered the opportunity for my family and I to live in an exclusive gated community… it was called the United States Navy. The trade off was that I took an oath to defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, both foreign and domestic. I also had to pledge to follow the orders of those appointed over me, which when I took my first oath, meant just about everyone in the military. By taking this oath I was put under the legal jurisdiction of the Uniformed Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) which meant that I gave up my freedom of speech to a certain extent. I was not allowed the freedom of assembly with unsavory groups which included any political party while in uniform. I guess that also made me a slave to my job, because if I didn’t show up at work everyday, I could have received severe punishment.

My service had a cost that I didn’t fore-see, homesickness and guilt. This job did in fact allow me adventurous world travel to Hawaii and Alaska and many other locations in the continental United States, Europe, the Mediterranean, and the Caribbean. But because of that I was away from my family and friends “back home” most of the 20 years causing my homesickness. However, I was very fortunate to have my wife and children with me most of that time and I was lucky because I was never sent to a battlefield, and after 20 years I received my retirement check every month as promised, and  low cost “space-available” medical care for my wife and I.

Yes, I spent 20-years being homesick for my family and friends back home, so after I completed my 20-years of service I figured that I could move back home to cure my homesickness. I was wrong, home is not a place it is a state of mind. The trade-off of losing frequent contact with childhood friends and family can cause an unseen distance that can sometimes be insurmountable… and cause personal guilt. My children were estranged from grandparents, some uncles, aunts and cousins. My childhood friends had moved on with families and careers and interests different then my own. Some even forgot that I even existed at all. I become envious of others who have had life-long friendships who enjoy sharing memories of years past. I then feel guilty about feeling that envy, because it was my choice of being gone from home. It was my fault for not trying harder to stay in touch with friends and family.

Even with all the negatives about military service the experience taught me self-discipline and gave me more freedom to enjoy my life and enjoy living. The camaraderie I feel with my shipmates or just about anyone who wore or wears a military uniform is very comforting.


I guess my youthful exuberance for adventure and the choices I made own me.

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