By Dan Barber
Now that I have some age and maybe a little bit of wisdom, I can look back on my life with wonderment and with some disappointment. However, I would never change a thing even if I could, because if I were able to go back in time to correct some mistake I made or change some decision, then everything that I now know would be gone, and everyone who I love could possibly disappear from my life.
I take that back, since I wrote that statement some months ago something horrendous happened to my family, something that I never dreamed would or even could have happened… the one thing that I might go back in time to try undo would be to tell a loved one that everyone loved him and we would go to any length to protect or help ease the pain and to please don’t give up on us. Perhaps the lesson that we learn from a painfull loss is to express our love and support to our loved ones now… show them that they are important and loved. One of the most important things is to show them that we are supportive and not judgmental.
Life is a mystery but simple… it only gets complicated when we continue asking questions that there are no answers for. I tried in my simple minded way to explain this in an earlier post… we should live everyday as best we can, because no one ever comes back to explain what awaits us after we die… or have we failed to listen and learn or trust what we have been told or experienced? I believe that I mentioned this in an earlier blog, but it might be worth repeating here. I met my wife in California but learned a couple of years after we were married that our grandfathers were buddies back in Nebraska Omaha
I also mentioned in an earlier blog that my Grandson explained to his Mother one day when he was 3-years old that he died before when he was 8-years old and when he woke up she was his new Mommy. And he insisted that he wasn’t in family photos before he was born because at the time he was dead. Then there is my other Grandson who mysteriously taught himself how to read before even starting kindergarten. He is still reading at an advanced level and can complete his math homework in a very short period of time. His Dad says that he looks at the math problem on his homework and calculates the problem in his head then writes down the answer within seconds. This grandson considers the work that he is given at his school is beneath his abilities and calls it “baby work!” Was this child born with the intelligence to do his school work assignments with ease, or was it a learned ability carried forth from a previous life?
I believe that all of our loved ones who have passed on are still with us… and if we pay attention can still sense their presence. When I was a child and we had assemblies at school for some award I received or some program I was involved with I could always tell that my Father was there just by hearing his distinctive cough… it was always very comforting to me when I heard that cough, I’m still listening for it. My Grandfather was always gardening or watering his garden with a garden hose by hand, which is something that I do today, and he is always there with me telling me “atta boy.” He was also always painting something or refinishing furniture so the smell of fresh paint or varnish is always very comforting to me.
All of this is solid evidence that my loved ones will always be with me. Yes it does hurt when they pass on, but if we truly have faith that they will always be with us but at the same time believing that are in a way much better place for them then the pain is much less for those of us left behind. When my father was on life support and my siblings and I had to ask for that support to be terminated because we knew that it was our father’s decision, still left me feeling bad about it for a couple of weeks until I had a dream where I asked my father if he could come back to life would he? His response was no… he was having way too much fun reliving the experiences in his life as if it were the first time. That dream… if it was a dream…made me feel much better.
I hope that when it’s my turn to pass on that my loved ones won’t mourn my passing, but celebrate my life instead, and be happy for me, because I plan on realizing a life-long dream of finding the answers for the true meaning of life and maybe having the opportunity to relive my happy experiences… especially moving back into the Hawaii tree-house my wife and I lived in when we were first married.
I have not been to church on a weekly basis in a long time, when I was a child I attended every week, until after services one Sunday I purchased a soda from a machine located in a community center next to the church. A stern looking lady told me that I would go to hell if I drank my soda. I sucked it down because I was thirsty, I don’t believe that I broke any of God’s commandments… at least I hope not.
My belief in God didn’t end on that Sunday… but my belief in what adults told me about what I should or shouldn’t believe about God or the church did. On the rare occasion that I do enter a church, I wonder if God is seeing me there, and I know that He is, just as He is seeing me watching the wonderful sunrise that He created. I don’t have to be in a ‘man-made’ church to have a conversation with God I can have a conversation with him everyday in the temple that he built called the universe. Everyday I thank God for my life, my children, my grandchildren and all those who I love. Scientists have explained that the Universe was created in a big bang, but they have yet to explain what sparked that big bang. I do know that one day the ultimate truth will be revealed to everyone.
In the mean time, I would recommend that everyone should strive to live a happy life and treat everyone kindly, always offer your hand in friendship, not in hate.
I saw it written somewhere that laughter is exercise for the soul… I think that I will watch a comedy on TV and get some exercise.
