What am I going to do today?

By Dan Barber

I believe that I added to my immortality today by sitting on a park bench with my 2-year old grandson for a half-hour while he was breathing in and out on a harmonica and we watched a man ride back and forth on a riding lawn mower cutting the park’s grass.

What? You might ask. It’s true because when I was a child some of my most favorite activities were just hanging out with my grandfather. I remember one time when we went to a bowling alley, not to bowl, but just to watch others bowl while we ate an ice cream cone. Another memory with my grandpa that has stuck in my head was when I was helping him rake up leaves and how good it felt when he told me that I was doing a good job.

I believe that we can live on in the memories of our family and friends for a very long time, and hopefully they will pass on those memories to others.

I truly enjoy collecting the memories of the times I have spent with my family and friends. I can now sit quietly while remembering those good times over and over again. Sometimes my wife will ask me, “What are you grinning about?”

Often you hear people reminiscing about the “good old days.” They are only recalling the good times during those days past. The bad memories are suppressed. When I was in the Navy, some of my duty stations were miserable, but when I left those miserable places I missed them. But, I soon discovered when I returned to those miserable places they were still just as miserable as when I was there. What I missed were the good memories I had of the people that I served with in those miserable places.

I have seen so many people searching for their purpose in life they will ask, “why am I here… what is my purpose? It is quite possible that our souls don’t belong to ourselves but to our families and friends. If that’s the case, then we need to not be so selfish by asking, “What’s in it for me” when we go about our lives and our inter-action with others. We should be looking for ways to help or serve others without expecting anything in return. The only thing that I expect is the love, appreciation and respect I get from my family and friends. I will never ask for recognition, I have always felt that if you have to ask someone for that, then it is not worth having.

I think that it would be a living hell not to have freely given love, appreciation and respect from others.

My father was right when he told me in a dream a couple of weeks after he passed away that he was having the best time in Heaven because he was getting to relive all of the best times of his life over and over again as if it were the first time.

Leave your family and friends with only good memories as your lasting legacy.

Why is honesty in character important?

By Dan Barber

We are all under attack in today’s society from small white lies to big damn ones that can affect our lives in very profound ways.

A major debate that is happening everywhere today is about the Affordable Care Act.

There are politicians, pundits, official and unofficial proxy spokespeople, network and cable TV commentators which include broadcast and print journalists, public relations practitioners, public affairs specialists, and bloggers delivering many different messages about health care insurance reform, all with special interest puppeteers pulling the strings on the entire communications process.

There are those of us, my self included, who will pick and choose what we hear and want to believe based on our own personal biases, knowledge and need. That is why we must make an objective effort to pay attention to all sides of an issue that is being debated, and try to understand the truth so we can make an informed decision.

I read an opinion piece in a leading newspaper recently that commented about presidents who lie to win. Up front in the piece it mentioned our current president making a promise in the past that we could keep our current doctor if we wanted… period. He promised that we could keep our current health care plan if we wanted… period. Now there seems to be some qualifiers for those promises the president made… otherwise known as “spin-control.” The author of the article opined that presidents sometimes justify the need to lie because they feel it is in the best interest of the people. I also heard a new phrase that bothers me, “The political lie.” I believe a lie is a lie.

I do wish that health insurance was reformed. Insurance was originally invented to spread the risk of something bad happening among a group with a common interest to reduce catastrophic loss to the individual. Now it’s just a “cash cow” for investors trying to maximize their investment.

One day I had lunch with a Navy physician who worked at the hospital were I once worked. He said that being in private practice became impossible for him. His expenses included rent on his offices, expensive medical devices, utilities, consumable supplies, taxes, and of course insurance… malpractice insurance, workers compensation insurance, and health insurance for his employees. He said with low ball payments from some of his patient’s private and government health care insurance plans made it impossible for him to keep his medical practice going. To be able to use and maintain his training as a surgeon he gave up his practice and joined the Navy.

I wish that health insurance was made available and affordable for everyone, and not just to line the deep pockets of insurance companies.

Above all else, I wish we had someone who possessed good character telling us the truth, so we don’t have to wade through a crowd of “experts” whose job it is to game the system in favor of their particular political stance or special interest.

A recent bit of news that concerns me is the organization of a social media group set up by our current president’s campaign team to further push his political agenda, which is just another special interest group outside the confines of the government. This organization does not fall under the jurisdiction of our constitutionally mandated oversight process for government activity. Our Constitution was created to protect the American people from “all enemies, both foreign and domestic,” as stated in the oath that every member of the military, and federal government employee must take upon enlistment, commission or hire. Elected officials, including the president must also take this oath.

The fact is political hacks bank on people being uninformed about important issues and getting their news from social media sites and late-night TV comedians.

I wish that life was simple and truth always easy to spot, unfortunately it is just a tangled up mess of the puppeteer’s strings.

Who or What owns you?

By Dan Barber

I have heard people say, “I’m a slave to my work.” “Why?” I might ask… is it because you hate your job? Is it because you don’t make enough money doing it, or is it because you earn too much? Or is it something else.

Perhaps in your youth you or your parents paid a huge ransom to a college for an education that was required for the job you now have. Are you a slave to your work because you have to pay back student loans? Or do you continue to work at your job out of guilt for the amount of money your parents paid for your education?

I believe that we have to be really careful in our life’s choices to prevent loosing our freedom of choice and even free will.

Right out of high school I got a job that offered a free education, free medical for me and my family. It offered a generous pension payable immediately after just 20 years of service, adventurous world travel and the job even offered the opportunity for my family and I to live in an exclusive gated community… it was called the United States Navy. The trade off was that I took an oath to defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, both foreign and domestic. I also had to pledge to follow the orders of those appointed over me, which when I took my first oath, meant just about everyone in the military. By taking this oath I was put under the legal jurisdiction of the Uniformed Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) which meant that I gave up my freedom of speech to a certain extent. I was not allowed the freedom of assembly with unsavory groups which included any political party while in uniform. I guess that also made me a slave to my job, because if I didn’t show up at work everyday, I could have received severe punishment.

My service had a cost that I didn’t fore-see, homesickness and guilt. This job did in fact allow me adventurous world travel to Hawaii and Alaska and many other locations in the continental United States, Europe, the Mediterranean, and the Caribbean. But because of that I was away from my family and friends “back home” most of the 20 years causing my homesickness. However, I was very fortunate to have my wife and children with me most of that time and I was lucky because I was never sent to a battlefield, and after 20 years I received my retirement check every month as promised, and  low cost “space-available” medical care for my wife and I.

Yes, I spent 20-years being homesick for my family and friends back home, so after I completed my 20-years of service I figured that I could move back home to cure my homesickness. I was wrong, home is not a place it is a state of mind. The trade-off of losing frequent contact with childhood friends and family can cause an unseen distance that can sometimes be insurmountable… and cause personal guilt. My children were estranged from grandparents, some uncles, aunts and cousins. My childhood friends had moved on with families and careers and interests different then my own. Some even forgot that I even existed at all. I become envious of others who have had life-long friendships who enjoy sharing memories of years past. I then feel guilty about feeling that envy, because it was my choice of being gone from home. It was my fault for not trying harder to stay in touch with friends and family.

Even with all the negatives about military service the experience taught me self-discipline and gave me more freedom to enjoy my life and enjoy living. The camaraderie I feel with my shipmates or just about anyone who wore or wears a military uniform is very comforting.

I guess my youthful exuberance for adventure and the choices I made own me.

What gives us peace of mind?

By Dan Barber

I just re-discovered the joy of simply reading a book. It has been a long time since I actually read a book for fun. As part of my job for many years I read millions of words, but in the form of news stories, commentaries or features in newspapers, magazines and online blogs.

My mornings usually started off with scanning the Washington Post then the Washington Examiner, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Navy/Marine/Federal Times, San Bernardino Sun, Desert Sun and on publishing days the Hi-Desert Star and the Desert Trail. Then for good or bad measure I would scan the online versions of CNN and Fox News. What I was always searching for were stories pertaining to politics, the military or medicine that I thought my co-workers and leaders in the Navy might find an interest in. It also sometimes gave me an idea of what I could develop into a story for my own newspaper, The Examiner, a health education and health promotion paper that I published for the staff and patients of the Navy hospital where I worked. This research each day culminated in clips in the form of what I called the Public Affairs Reader File.

Since I retired from the government, for the last time this year, I have cut back on my “news” reading to limit myself to just the Los Angeles Times and the online versions of CNN and Fox News along with my local media sources… just to keep up with current affairs. This casual reading sometimes allows me to critic something in the comment section of the newspaper that, in my opinion, a clueless journalist wrote. When I was a government employee I had to keep my opinions to myself… it was the law! During my working life it was also prudent to keep my opinions “close hold” government public affairs speak for “keep it to yourself.” Now that I’m no longer subject to the censure of an employer it is very refreshing to be able to exercise my freedom of speech and opinion that has been bottled up for so long. For many years people would ask me what my political leanings were. I would explain they depended on the issue and leave it there… I cannot confirm nor deny the presence of nuclear weapons was a standard military response years ago when a reporter would ask, “Does your command have nuclear weapons?”  My political leaning still hinges on the issues but I can assure everyone that I have no patience for extreme right-wing or left-wing bigots who try to hurt someone with words or actions because they won’t blindly sign on to the cause those morons are pushing. Sometimes people just don’t know any better because they are just trying to be chic for calling CNN “Communist News Network” or Fox News “Faux News.” I will just smile at these people while thinking to myself, “what an ignorant ass.” I could attempt to correct the individual and try to explain why they were wrong, but it would just take up to much of my time.

Right after I retired from active duty with the Navy in 1989 I was hired by a very liberal weekly newspaper in Los Angeles as the production manager. The publisher thought that, as a former military man, I could bring some discipline to the production staff. Many of the staffers only took the job at the paper until they could get their “big break” in Hollywood. The art director did not believe in wearing shoes anywhere, unless he was being interviewed on TV about the legalization of marijuana. Our young film critic on the editorial staff was a recent graduate of the USC Film School who was waiting for someone to offer him a film to direct. Many, if not all of the graphic artists were “really” actors, actresses, models or musicians. When I showed up they all viewed me as a cockroach that just walked through the door from the dirty alley behind the newspaper offices. I explained to them that I served in the U.S. Navy so they could have the opportunity to do whatever they wished to do. But with the publisher paying them to do what the publisher paid them to do, they would have to follow my direction at this job. After having to fire a couple of them and the art director quitting and moving off to Amsterdam so he could partake in marijuana legally everyone got down to the business of putting out a weekly liberal newspaper, that for the most part espoused big business in LA. 

I can recall when I first read an entire book from cover to cover just because I wanted to. I was a freshman in high school and one day I walked into the library because I didn’t have anything better to do. The book that I picked off the shelf with no notice of the title just happened to be about auto racing and the technical aspect of building race cars. I was fascinated with the book. However, that reading experience didn’t make me want to become a race car driver or builder of race cars because I found many other interesting things in my universe at the time.

I also did not wish to dedicate my life to the pursuit of any particular occupation. I knew that I did not want to waste my parent’s money on college, because I was not mature enough or smart enough or dedicated enough to succeed. I discovered theater arts in high school and enjoyed escaping from my own introverted personality while performing on stage, but even that grew tiring after many years of community theater auditions, rehearsals and performance schedules.

Maybe peace of mind comes from the act of trying to keep from getting bored in the retirement years.