By Dan Barber
OK… at the request of my one fan, here is another attempt to
share my life’s adventure as a retiree.
To add some dimension to this request, my one fan is my
soon-to-be 20 year old granddaughter who received honors in her senior year of
high school for her creative writing skills. She is and always will be a
perfectionist. Her high school English teacher, recognizing this trait, thought
it clever to assign her the task of writing a 500 word essay on the proper use of
the pencil eraser. She completed the assignment with the expected perfect
letter grade of A+.
I am slowing down more everyday by finding it more difficult to
maintain a train of thought through the completion of an error-free project. I spend
way too much time searching through the dictionary for the proper spelling of
many words I used to type faster then I could pronounce them. I just recently
found out that I could highlight a word and my smart computer might look up the
spelling for me or give me an alternate word to use through its thesaurus.
Sometimes I might go back and read something I had written
and don’t remember writing what I obviously wrote or know why I wrote what I
did, or what in the world did I mean with the abstract jumble of words.
I wake each morning at 8 a.m., take my meds, jump or
gingerly step into the shower. I then must
complete my morning routine by drinking a cup of coffee while reading various
on-line news publications so I can keep up on current events. Just a couple of
years ago I could scan several national, regional and local news sources and be
done by 9 a.m., not so anymore I don’t get this routine done now until nearly
noon with my once hot cup of coffee now cold.
Some might ask why I put myself through this trouble each
day. If I don’t do it I feel out of sorts for the rest of the day. I do get a
lot of enjoyment out of critiquing the stupidity of our politicians, political
pundits, journalists and columnists. I’m sure that my wife is very concerned
about my behavior… sometimes she will come into my den to ask why I’m laughing
at, or cussing the computer. If I’m pecking away at the keyboard, she will
quietly retreat down the hallway because she knows that I’m busy posting what I
think is a clever response to something I read.
I’m quite sure that my twisted insight will have no effect
on the nature or outcome of our political well being, but it still gives me
purpose to get up every morning and to try to do something productive. Most of
the time I don’t get any response to my social media or newspaper message board
postings, but the one or two likes I might get lets me know that someone is
reading my ravings. I really get a kick out of the times when someone starts
insulting me instead of trying to debate my critique, because that tells me
that my point was dead on.
I share this bit of information only to explain my absence
from my Saturday Morning Post for the past month and a half. I just ask that
nobody should feel sorry for me getting old and slowing down, because I
certainly don’t… I am having a good time being a crotchety old man with an
opinion of my own… if you would like to view those opinions, please follow me
on Face Book.
